Si kupenda kwangu, ni hali ya Maisha! PART ONE

There is an award-winning Kenyan musician called JuaCali who just swept me off with this new song..'si kupenda kwangu'. He made me realise, that perhaps I ought to "refresh my roots" and relive my experience.

I am doing a very unorthodox thing and I am going to write in sheng--that mishmash of languages that publishers hate, teachers loathe and everyone else (except those who speak it) think of it as just dumb.

I am fluent in sheng', kiswahili and English. I also speak and write kiluhya.

So, I am just expressing my "back in the day" in the simplest way some of the folks who visit my blog are wont to enjoy. Here is the story. It is a long one, actually a series, sijui how many parts bado. If you were born past 1975 and went to good schools and learnt not only from books but from the street, then this ought not to be a tough language.

LIFE ni strange. Life ni weird. Life sio daro. Hakuna exam zenye utasema wewe ni number one au ni number last. Life sio compe, life ni mission.

Hiyo ni advise niliget toka kwa book flani ya editor wangu Oduor Ouma. Book yenyewe inaitwa Jot It Down. Manze, kama kuna book inainspire ma-writer, ni hii ya huyu msee. Lakini kama journalist, as in msee wa kusikiza, kufikiria, na kuropoka ama kuandika; hiyo advise ni fyam.

Nikiangalia place nimetoka, na nikicheki place naishia ama kule nataka kuishia, kuna vitu mob tu sana zinanibamba.

First, nikishow wasee nilichop na Dan Weku, ule boy wa Rugby mwenye sikuhizi ameturn pro France, wasee huwa hawaniamini. Tumechop na Dan kutoka primo, chuo moja ya ocha lakini ya nguvu inaitwa Mumias Boys, ee, iko Mumias. Kuishia high school, Kakamega High, Dan akacome na hapo ndio alianza kucheza Rugby, akiwa na kina Paul Murunga mwenye sikuhizi ni captain wa Impala ama sijui ni Mwamba. Sahi Dan yuko majuu.

Mi ndio nimetoka ocha juzi sahi niko Nairobi kama journalist wa Nation. Ku-hustle kuget dough kidogo ya kulipa landlord, ingine niitume home, yaani ocha, mapero na ma-bro wajibambe nazo.

Kama ni ku-expose ma-scandal kwa gava, hiyo nafanya. Lakini kitu inanibore ni culture flani (na I think nitachora book moja soo kuihusu) ya kuitisha chapa ndio nifanye story. Hiyo ni kuwa danda, coz hii Kenya si ya kufikiria tumbo yako. Ni yetu wote, life ni mission lazima tui-accomplish.

Nikiwa Nairobi, nacheki majina mob mob kwa Telly za wasee tulichop nao; za kina Reuben Odanga ati sijui siku hizi ni producer wa progi flani ya NTV inaitwa Guy Centre. Pia anachora ma-script kibao za silver screen ya Kenya. Siku zake, Reuben alikuwa Best Actor kila mwaka nationals za Drama. Kuanzia primo hadi high school. Yeye ni mwingine tumeenda shule together.

Kuna pia Dennis Oliech na bro wake Ken Oliech. Manze Ken sitawahi m-forget, tukiwa room-mates Kach dorm flani inaitwa Kimweri, keja ya pili kutoka kwa door. Ken, manze kama unaget chance ya kusoma hii missive, sijasahau zile quarter ulikuwa unanibuyia, na pinch za loaf ulikuwa unakata kidogo time na-whistle chai (kunywa chai bila escort). Na Edgar Mulima, Moses Mukabane, nyi ndio watu!

Nikikumbuka hizo dayz zenye loaf ilikuwa ndio kama sijui nini, yaani important kishenzi. Kama huna loaf, basi we ulikuwa down. Na sikatai, juu kama mzae ananichotea soo moja, as in a hundred bob ka pocket money for a whole term, na hapo ndani kuna bus fare, finje, ya kurudi Mumias. Uta-understand ile msoto nilikuwa napitia.

Shopping usitake kujua alikuwa anabuy nini. Sabuni ya kufua na ya kuogea, rangi ya viatu, toothpaste na toothbrush, kalamu na set ya made in china ya kofa (time kila mtu wa high school anatumia ile ya blue ya made in England ya Oxford). Hiyo ndio ilikuwa list yangu ya shopping. Of course, kach hizo days exercise books na uniform tulikuwa tunaget shule; zilikuwa zinalipiwa kwa fee.

Lakini textbooks ilikuwa inabidi nishinde library ama niombe za kina, Moses Mukabane, Brian Gangla, Kevin Ratemo ama Timothy Vikiru. Hawa wasee bado wako juu, Mose ni Engineer flani huko Kisii, Brian ni software guru na last time tukichat kwa Facebook alikuwa nanishow yeye husave ngiri mbao kila month. Na akakataa ati mshande au salo yake sio 300K, manze ku-save ngiri mbao na unadrive Nairobi kila siku…. Ningependa life kama hii. Siku moja itawahi. Doba mimi husikia hizo huni-advise to keep the hope alive.

Ratemo, tulikutana naye kwa ofisi za National Environment Management Authority (Nema) hapa Nairobi South C, time nilikuwa nimeishia ku-cover press conference. Vikiru, alipanda hadi akawa Head Boy kach, akahanda ma-form one tukiwa form-nne akachujwa, lakini nilisikia alienda Kenyatta University na akawa student leader, sijui after that alienda wapi. Nilimcheki facebook juzi, nafikiria kumuuliza akacome tukamate kasembe sometime.

Lakini, I’m glad TV alinipeleka kwao nikakula nyama ya nguruwe na ugali kwa butchery flani, kibanda actually, hapo Amalemba Kakamega. Hiyo food ilikuwa Sh10 na ni food ya power, I think either ilikuwa ina-target wasee wa mjengo ndio bei ikawa hivyo au life ilikuwa cheap sana.

So, after Kach high, nikaget ka-A-minus kazuri na nikaishia home ku-chill ku-wait risto za kuitwa campo, ama sijui ndio inaitwa kambi, nowadays.

In the meantime, redio ndio ilikuwa best friend.

PS: Let me listen to CHIWAWA with his 'Life Teachings'